Dear Coquette
My boyfriend and I have been together seven years and have a beautiful son. I’m young, hot and I’ve got it going on! He’s let himself go — a lot — but I still want to be intimate with him any chance I get. When we got together we did it three times a day, but now I’m lucky if it happens once a month. Our relationship is otherwise fabulous, but I feel unwanted, unsatisfied and angry. Talking hasn’t helped, and making advances that are rejected just makes it worse. He won’t consider an open relationship. Give me some straight wisdom, please. I need to hear it and know you can give it to me.
He doesn’t get to leave you sexually unsatisfied. It’s not open to negotiation, and it’s not acceptable for his complacency to hold your sexual appetite hostage.
You have a set of reasonable, clearly communicated relationships needs that are not being met, and he simply has to step up and satisfy you or somebody else will. I’m not suggesting you cheat, but he might have to reconsider his stance on open relationships or hit the gym.
Quite frankly, he was quick to say no to an open relationship for the same reason he doesn’t give it to you hard and regular like he used to — he can only get away with being lazy from within the safe and cozy confines of a monogamous, long-term relationship.
Well, the long-term relationship is a lock. You two have a kid together, which means at some level you’ll be in each other’s lives forever. That just leaves the monogamy, which conveniently is the one aspect of the relationship that both enables him to be lazy and keeps you from being sexually satisfied.
So you see, this all comes down to a simple choice: Does he want to be monogamous or lazy? It’s up to him. He can either get his act together and start holding his own in the bedroom, or he can watch from the sidelines as you get it daily and nightly and ever so rightly from a revolving door of chiseled young studs who want some hot MILF action.
If that’s not motivation for him to suck in that gut, I don’t know what is.
Then again, this really isn’t about his poor physical condition. Not really. It’s about how his poor physical condition is affecting the relationship. Be clear about that when you draw the line. Let him know that he doesn’t even have to hit the gym as long as he’s burning calories trying to make you orgasm.
This won’t be easy. It’s work. You have to be responsible for setting the standards of intimacy, and if he can’t meet those standards, consequences will ensue. Stay honest with him the whole time, and don’t ever go behind his back. Let him know when and how you’ll be seeking satisfaction elsewhere, and make sure he knows that you’d always rather it be him.
At the end of the day, he needs to get the message that the status quo in the relationship is unacceptable and that something is going to change. One way or the other, you’re gonna get sexed up good and proper. If he’s smart, he’ll use this as an opportunity to better himself. If not, I hope you enjoy all those hot young studs.
All you have to do is realize that you’re not stuck.
Start enforcing your will, babe.
Credit: The Daily (www.thedaily.com)
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